Communicating with Exes

I don't have a whole lot of experience with ex-boyfriends.  In fact, most of mine were between the ages of thirteen and fifteen and are now great friends of ours.  BUT, my sister on the other hand, has quite a collection in her past.  Sometimes, I kind-of like to live vicariously through her and her wild life. Tonight is one of those nights.

So, on behalf of girls everywhere, I'd like to send a little message to the ex-boyfriends of the world.

Sending a photo-text message like THIS randomly at 2:16PM on a Tuesday TEN years after you broke up is just plain strange.

Face blurred to protect the innocent... No other adjustments have been made to this photo.

Seriously?  I'd like to know how this went down.  Was he just in the gym in the middle of the day and thought, "Man, I am looking good.  I think I'll send Kathryn a picture just to remind her of how hot I am"? Honestly, if boys would share HALF of their self-confidence with most of the girls I know, we'd be set!!!

And, in case you are wondering, here's how the rest of the text message conversation read:

K - Did you mean to send this to me?  (I LOVE that she would write this back.)

Ex - Yes.  I'm flexing so it doesn't look like that 24/7, but I'm working on it.  (PLEASE tell me that a friend stole his phone and sent this!)  Your birthday is coming up, isn't it.  (Is this supposed to be a gift?)

K - Yes.

The End.

I'm pretty sure this can fall under the category of "Midweek Laughs."  What advice do you have for exes trying to attempt communication?  We ought to get some good ones here!

Mid-Week Laughs: Jeff and Addy

Just a little something Jeff and Addy have been working on in his time off.  Enjoy!

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Happy Hump Day!  Hope you had a good little laugh!

(I'm not doing a linky today; but, if you have a favorite youtube video you'd like to share, feel free to leave a link in the comments below!)

A Facebook Found Poem

Let's just go ahead and call this: The Official E, Myself, and I Facebook Week of 2010.

Ok, now that that's out of the way... I'm spicing up "Midweek Laughs" today...

 The basic topic is:

What makes you laugh about FACEBOOK? (Of course!)

But... here's the challenge.  I'm writing a FOUND POEM using only - you guessed it - FB STATUS UPDATES!  (How fun is this?)

What is a "Found Poem" you ask?  

According to www.poets.org:

Found poems take existing texts and refashion them, reorder them, and present them as poems. The literary equivalent of a collage, found poetry is often made from newspaper articles, street signs, graffiti, speeches, letters, or even other poems.

A pure found poem consists exclusively of outside texts: the words of the poem remain as they were found, with few additions or omissions. Decisions of form, such as where to break a line, are left to the poet.

It's pretty much the easiest form of poetry, because you don't have to do any of the actual writing yourself.  (And, no friends, it does NOT have to rhyme!) 

So... I bring you:

What's On Your Mind?

 Thanks, friend, for your poor cell reception...
You know it's going to be a bad day,

when you run over the toll booth.

It's true... You can wear Birks

....and [be] weirded out by the Santanna-Brittany make out session.

I have a UTI, and just saw

an old man riding a bike with a big fluffy white cat in a basket.

I could literally burst into little bits!
...

Am I crazy?

I just ate an entire head of garlic.

What will the Creatures of the Night think?

I can tell,

Tonight is gonna be a red wine and sleeping pills kinda night,

and I am going to lose all my friends.

Either way,

I had a great afternoon just

watching the Pupcake.

Plus, there's another casserole in the freezer...

It smells like it's brewin' a mighty fecal stew

of medicinal ice cream just administered to my throat.

By the way,

If you tick me off, and I don't say anything

It's not because

I'm getting ready to walk down the aisle as a groom's-maid.

I miss you, Carl Sagan

but, don't I interact with seniors enough already?

Honestly, I'm really wondering...

"Have you touched President Obama?"

Best thing I ever did;

but, it ended in throwing up.

Sincerely, 

Thighs MaGee

*For the record: None of these are my words;  they were found entirely in the status updates of my friends (via the public domain that is FaceBook) over the course of the last 48 hours!

Now, try your hand at social network poetry and link up below!  (Or, you can always just post about what makes you laugh on Facebook!)

What Makes Me Laugh About My Husband?

Oh, SO MANY things!!!

Unluckily Luckily for you, my Jeff is a very private being.  I try to respect him on my blog, and in my life... So here's what I'm going with today.

His "lazy eye" makes me CRACK UP!!!

Um, if you didn't just wet your pants... You MIGHT need to be checked out by a doctor!!

Jeff makes this face at me several times a day.  Usually, he flashes it right in the middle of a serious conversation, or worse - an argument.  We've been together almost ten years and it still gets me EVERY TIME.  I love it! 

My husband is a funny one!

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Wanna play along?

Are you tired and grouchy by Wednesday afternoon? Does the weekend seem ALL too far away? Could you use a GOOD LAUGH? That's what "Mid-Week Laughs" is all about... Take a minute, sit back, and enjoy a good, hearty, brings-tears-to-your-eyes, belly laugh. It's good for the soul!

This week's topic is:

What makes me laugh about my husband/boyfriend!

To play along, simply write your own blog post on the topic - the funnier, the better - don't hold back! Then, just grab my button on the right AND add your link below. Ready... Set... Go! (P.S. You can also just leave your thoughts in the comments of this post, in case you want to join in, but don't have a blog of your own.)

So.... Have at it!

Midweek Laughs: Man Fashion

Are you tired and grouchy by Wednesday afternoon? Does the weekend seem ALL too far away? Could you use a GOOD LAUGH? That's what "Mid-Week Laughs" is all about... Take a minute, sit back, and enjoy a good, hearty, brings-tears-to-your-eyes, belly laugh. It's good for the soul!

This week's topic is:

What makes me laugh about Men's Fashion!!!

To play along, simply write your own blog post on the topic - the funnier, the better - don't hold back! Then, just grab my button on the right AND add your link below. Ready... Set... Go!  (P.S. You can also just leave your thoughts in the comments of this post, in case you feel passionately about this topic - I don't blame you - but don't have a blog of your own!)

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Disclaimer: I know very little about this from personal experience.  My dad may as well be a male model; and, as I've told you before, Jeff won "Trendsetter" in both middle school and high school! (Trust me, he will NEVER let me forget it.)  But, I do have some pretty strong opinions about the attire of the male population. 

So, I give you, My Top Three Man Fashion Disasters:

1. Short Sleeved Dress Shirts

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Um, especially skin-colored, short-sleeved, dress shirt. And - for the record - cell phone clipped on your belt is also incredibly dorky!

2. Jorts

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You thought these went out 15 years ago?  Oh no, I assure you, jean shorts are alive and well.  (Embroidery is an added bonus of hideous points!)

3. Gold Chains (or any chains -- Look, I'm sorry!)

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Don't even get me started on my dislike for chest hair and men without undershirts.  BUT, if you absolutely must sport this look... PLEASE spare us the man-jewelry.  Yuck!

I could seriously list a hundred of these, but I didn't want to spoil all the fun for you.  What makes YOU laugh about Man Fashion?  Come on!  Consider it your civic responsibility.... :)

Mid-Week Laughs (About My High School Self)

Are you tired and grouchy by Wednesday afternoon? Does the weekend seem ALL too far away? Could you use a GOOD LAUGH? That's what "Mid-Week Laughs" is all about... Take a minute, sit back, and enjoy a good, hearty, brings-tears-to-your-eyes, belly laugh. It's good for the soul!

This week's topic is:

__________________ makes me laugh, when I think about MY HIGH SCHOOL SELF!

To play along, simply write your own blog post filling in the blank... The funnier, the better - don't hold back! Then, just grab my button on the right AND add your link below. Ready... Set... Go!

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I've been stewing over this all morning... Maybe the fact that I TEACH in my 7th period Spanish classroom makes me not far enough removed from this topic...  I asked Jeff what was funny about me in high school and he promptly said: "EVERYTHING."  There are disadvantages to marrying someone you grew up with.  I'm sure he or my sister could write this MUCH better than I can... But I'll give it a go.

My teacher's pet tendency makes me laugh, when I think about MY HIGH SCHOOL SELF!

Three years ago, when I first started teaching at my alma mater, I had to attend a new teacher orientation before the work-week started.  I was nervous about it, but thankful to have two of my good friends who had also gone to school here starting their career with me.  Things were going ok... There was a new principal, mostly all new staff, and it had been six years since I'd been back; so I felt grown up and different.  THEN, the librarian came in to speak to the group.  He is very monotone, and very serious about the cleanliness of the library, the organization of his shelves, and returning books on time.  But, literally in the MIDDLE of his speech, he spotted me and stopped everything to say: "Oh... Uh... Hi Elizabeth." 

Words can't really do this justice... But I was mortified!!  It was if he had stamped me on my first day of school with a sticker for all my colleagues to read that said "Warning: Suck Up Alert."

I will probably never live this down among my friends; but, let's be honest, no one that knew me in high school would be surprised to hear this.  I WAS a teacher's pet.  I was the kid who shot her hand up in the air like a gun when the teacher asked for a volunteer, as if the most exciting thing in the world was running a note downstairs to the attendance office.  I was the kid who actually dressed up like one of my teachers (the newspaper sponsor) on "Career Day."  (Granted, this really did turn out to be true; but, seriously, why didn't someone tell me how completely dorky that was.)  I was the kid who saw my teachers out in public and couldn't resist the urge to run up and discuss the summer reading.  Or, the who who always got asked "be in charge" when the teacher stepped out of the room... That's really a friendly way of saying, "You are the most likely to rat out your classmates if anything goes wrong" - most definitely NOT a compliment. 

I was the kid who went WAY above and beyond on the project in hopes that the teacher would ask to keep mine "as an example."  And, I was the kid who took photographs from sidelines at football games instead of sitting in the stands with my friends, who ate lunch in the newspaper room, and ran for student body offices so that I could speak into the microphone at class assemblies.  Oh, I was SO that kid.

Thankfully, I can laugh about it now.  I can laugh when my students roll their eyes at the kid who ALWAYS raises her hand and asks to read aloud, because I know that was me... Oh well, that's life! You live, you learn!

Now --- your turn!!!  What makes you laugh when you think about yourself in high school?!?

Mid-Week Laughs (About Pets)

Friends, this girl doesn't give up easily... I'm back for round two of my new blog hop - Mid-Week Laughs!

Are you tired and grouchy by Wednesday afternoon? Does the weekend seem ALL too far away? Could you use a GOOD LAUGH? That's what "Mid-Week Laughs" is all about... Take a minute, sit back, and enjoy a good, hearty, brings-tears-to-your-eyes, belly laugh. It's good for the soul!

This week's topic is:

__________________ makes me laugh about MY PET!

To play along, simply write your own blog post filling in the blank... The funnier, the better - don't hold back! Then, just grab my button on the right AND add your link below. Ready... Set... Go!

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Referring to her by her full name makes me laugh about MY PET!

Have you ever noticed that most pets simply go by ONE name?  Fluffy?  Oreo?  What would the world be like if our parents simply gave us one name based on our outward appearance.  I can imagine now a class full of 'Freckles' and 'Chubbys.'

Anyways, my girl has a full name: 

Adelle Girl Chapman

And, let's all just be honest, if it was more socially acceptable I'd have her full initials monogrammed on everything she owns! 

If that doesn't look like an Adelle, I don't know what does. 

(And, that may or may not be her coffee!)

I LOVE calling animals by their full name - especially, when the name is human-like. (Bonus points for senior-citizen names.)

Example:

Addy's boyfriend is named Nacho Schubert.

Addy's arch enemy next door is named Harley Cross.

My family cat growing up was named Muffy Mulvaney - porn star?!?

When Addy entered the photo contest a while back, she was the ONLY animal listed with both a first and last name.  Call me crazy, but I think that's why she won.

And... because I made this up, I write the rules, and I might be the only one participating...

#2. Car trips make me laugh about MY PET!

THIS is how Addy rides.  Every time.  We start out with her in the back like a good dog, and slowly, she makes her way to my lap.  It is awkward and uncomfortable, but I think it's hilarious.  You should SEE the look on people's faces in the cars next to us.  (Jeff is mortified, but I know they are jealous.)  Besides, I admire Addy's confidence in her 75 pound curvaceous bod.  The laughs are TOTALLY worth the dog hair and bruises I, undoubtedly, acquire.

Ok... your turn!

Mid-Week Laughs (About Weddings)

Welcome to the FIRST EDITION of "Mid-Week Laughs" at E, Myself, and I!  (I've been wanting to do this for a long time; so, at the risk of sounding desperate... PLEASE join in!  I'll be really sad if this is a flop!)

Are you tired and grouchy by Wednesday afternoon? Does the weekend seem ALL too far away? Could you use a GOOD LAUGH? That's what "Mid-Week Laughs" is all about... Take a minute, sit back, and enjoy a good, hearty, brings-tears-to-your-eyes, belly laugh. It's good for the soul!

This week's topic is:

__________________ makes me laugh about WEDDINGS!

To play along, simply write your own blog post filling in the blank... The funnier, the better - don't hold back! Then, just grab my brand-new button on the right AND add your link below. Ready... Set... Go!

The FOB makes me laugh about weddings!

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No, not Fall Out Boy (although imagining them at a wedding also makes me laugh) - the Father of the Bride, of course! 

You know, the one with the awkward smile/holding back tears/"I have to use the bathroom" face walking the bride down the aisle...

This picture, from Pryor's wedding, perfectly sums up what I LOVE about the Father of the Bride.  Here he is - "Giving away" his little girl AND thousands of dollars all on the same evening! Talk about a rough night!

And yet, he's one of the stars of the show!  The party - in many ways - is his to host.  He's probably been dieting for a few weeks to fit into an uncomfortable cummerbund, and the glorious feast he's paying for is in reach, but only attainable AFTER he poses for a few hundred photos. 

Then, just as "the hard part" appears to be over, comes the (dun dun dun): Father - Daughter Dance.  Somehow, this graying stud must figure out a way to look manly and cool, all the while dancing to a song like "Butterfly Kisses" or Amy Grant's "My Father's Eyes."  THAT takes some skill ladies and gentlemen!

Pryor & her dad (who, incidently, immediately changed into shorts & flipflops following the ceremony) danced to "Heaven Is a Place on Earth."  An excellent choice!

Then comes my FAVORITE PART... The shy man who swayed awkwardly earlier becomes a NIGHT MOVER as the evening goes on.  The band gets louder.  The bar gets wilder.  And, before you know it, he's reverted back to his fraternity days... Shaking his hips, head-banging, and shmoozing the ladies on the dance floor with his stunning moves. He is a rock star!  He is THE FOB!  And, gosh darnit, he DESERVES this!!  :) 

The Father of the Bride never fails to make me laugh.  (Ok, and cry sometimes too.)  I've seen super serious FOBs, and wildly outrageous ones.  I've seen nervous ones, and weepy ones.  I like them all!  But, I do have a favorite, of course...

My daddy... Hilarious, but wonderful! We danced to "Blessed" by Elton John, & he was a champ!

Now it's your turn!  What makes you laugh about weddings? (Come on, don't make me beg!)

And, oh yea, just a reminder: Don't take these TOO seriously... We aren't posting stuff to be mean or personally insult anyone... Just sharing a good laugh about the every-day things of life!  Ok?!?!

Zedonk, Book Club, and New Blog Hop

Sunday morning, as I got dressed in the hotel room with Jeff and my parents (what can I say? I'm cheap!), a very important news story came on the TV.  It seems that a ZeDonk (zebra & donkey hybrid), has been born on a farm in Georgia. 

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Have you ever seen anything cuter (or trendier - zebra leggings anyone?) than this?!? I was fascinated,  especially with the host's question "Now, did this happen randomly or have the donkey and zebra been dating for a while?" I LOVE it!

Then, as I called to Jeff to come see this, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.  And... What do you know?  I was DRESSED LIKE A ZEDONK!  Made.my.day.

I see this quickly becoming a top trend for Fall 2010 Fashion!

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... In other animal-related news... I finished the book The Art of Racing in the Rain for book club on August 20th.  It was excellent!!  (Made me cry, of course, but I enjoyed every second of it.  It TOTALLY confirmed many of my suspicions about the way Addy thinks and sees life - I love her even more now!!)  If you haven't started yet and want to join in, it's not too late!  It is a quick and easy read so... just do it!

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Finally... I am REALLY excited to announce my new blog hop: Mid-Week Laughs!!!

Button courtesy of TriciaNae Designs... Grab code coming tomorrow!

Are you tired and grouchy by Wednesday afternoon?  Does the weekend seem ALL too far away?  Could you use a GOOD LAUGH?  That's what Mid-Week Laughs is all about... Take a minute, sit back, and enjoy a good, hearty, brings-tears-to-your-eyes, belly laugh.  It's good for the soul!

Come back tomorrow and link up YOUR post telling...

__________________ makes me laugh about WEDDINGS!

I can't wait!!!

Don't forget to enter yesterday's $50 CSN Stores Giveaway HERE. Open until Sunday!